When Josie Met Todd: Part I

Josie shares lessons learned from her dating struggles and how she overcame the Peter Pan in her life.

I actually loved being single. I had a great circle of single friends
(both male and female) and we seemed to have a lot more fun than
several of the relationships around us. I am almost as much an
introvert as an extrovert so I loved the independence of doing what I
wanted, when I wanted, with whom I wanted - or without anyone! It
could be lonely however and I certainly struggled with that.

In my thirties I tried to make a relationship work for 5 years. We
got engaged in 3 weeks. Chris was a professor, I a grad student
though not one of his. The pressure to gain public respectability was
intense. We planned the wedding for 3 months hence. Within two
months the wheels came off. We called off the wedding and spent the
next four and a half years trying to recover. It was a ghastly saga.

I decided to take my hands off looking for a husband and pursue my
acting career.

When Todd, my future husband, did show up he was a delightful
surprise. He and I met at church. Todd was wearing funky specs and
I thought he was funny, but I thought nothing of it.

A few weeks later Todd invited me out for coffee. As we chatted I
noticed how much we had in common, what a good listener he is and how
funny, warm and smart.

At the time, I fancied myself a fortress. It was going to take an
impressive campaign to scale these walls and I was desperate not to
re-enact the previous fiasco.

To my surprise, Todd simply walked – nay, strolled – in. He had a key
to a door I didn't know existed. How did he manage it? Did I
mention that he's devilishly handsome as well as funny, warm, and
smart? Funny thing is I didn't feel as though I had lost control.
Todd in all his rascally-ness made me feel safe.

I stayed in the moment with Todd and didn't jump ahead to "what ifs."
I wanted to be courted and I wanted to give myself the freedom to
break up with Todd if I wanted to.

And I did. At least three times.

Tomorrow, Part II of how Josie dealt with "Peter Pan."

To leave your comments or questions, click the comment section below.